you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
