I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize