Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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