we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
