she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
