i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
