So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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