Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
