Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
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