The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
her facebook's as public as her vagina
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I'm at about main and main street
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
