My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
