We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
