thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize