and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
