well you can't waste a boner
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
