just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
