Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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