Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
