So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
