Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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