we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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