I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
