i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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