This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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