I need help removing her.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
