When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
