What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
