singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Boobs speak an international language.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
