It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
