C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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