I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I am mentally ready for anal.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
