I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
