i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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