update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
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He called his prostate his "boner button".
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
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Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
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