All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
