Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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