I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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