Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
