i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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