people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
