It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
