Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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