I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Randomize
