Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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