How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
