margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
