you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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