Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
