This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
