dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
