Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
