she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
