so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
