friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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