Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
