and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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