I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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