Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
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Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
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My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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