my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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