Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
