Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
