gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
