Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
