i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize